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I normally don’t have time to comment on writing but I will give you a quick comment. The content is all fine. The overview gives the key features and the body paragraphs give the detail. However, it is long. Could you really write this in 20 mins? Also try grouping information together in the body paragraphs “The number of postgraduates going on to part time work and further studies is almost the same (2,535 and 2,725 respectively)”. This way you avoid repetition of your sentences. Also if you look at the first chart, there is considerable difference between part time work and further studies which could be mentioned in the body.
All the best